Wandering thoughts- Part 2: Feelings

Emotions make us human, denying them makes us beasts. — Victoria Klein

 As a human, we’re meant to feel all kind of emotions like joy, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger etc. And the feelings that you yourself are afraid to acknowledge are the most important ones in moulding your perception about life and behaviour with others. As a child, we’re open about feelings but as we grow older we hide them thinking that sharing them (even with the people you love) will reflect weakness on our part. We start pretending to be strong, calm and confident all the time, and we try to bottle up our emotions as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life. Even though we know that emotions come and go and can’t be controlled so there’s no reason to worry about them but still we move in the cave of solitude with so much left unsaid and so many feelings buried inside. And by the time we realize it, we think it’s too late and we start questioning will those words/feelings matter now or what if the other person won’t acknowledge them and then there is always that part of our ego stopping us.  And believe me, once the opportunity is lost; we’re the culprit and we’re the victim at the same time. Silence is not the answer when the situation demands us to speak out. So, I’ll suggest you to start talking about it because talking puts words to feelings and allows us to share what’s happening in our minds and let others into our worlds. Telling somebody that you are sad can take some of the sadness away and sharing joy will add more joy. It eases the burden of feeling like the entire world is on our shoulders when in reality that couldn't be farther from the truth, even if there isn't an immediate solution to what we are feeling, sharing these emotions with someone has a tremendous positive impact on our mind and heart.

Wandering thoughts- Part 1: Secluded

After the lockdown (due to the pandemic COVID-19) we had more time with ourselves to reflect upon our life and share the time (that we never had) with our family. But in reality, we’re still living in our cave of solitude and social media is the only place where we feel free and safe to share. For a family, the most important part of the day is the time when all members eat together and talk about their life, but now that also is occupied in binge-watching or scrolling the endless feeds. People think that they live in the most connected world yet the ironically everyone feels so lonely; as most of them are looking for acknowledgement from the unknown random people on the internet rather than talking or celebrating with the one with whom they’re sharing the most important part of life i.e. the Present. People talk over chats for hours without noticing that something was missing there and that something was the attention required for building a strong foundation of the relationships. People scroll for hours with the hope to find nothing. We care about the number of likes on the celebration photographs rather than appreciating the efforts of those who’re present right there and enjoying the moment.  Now the strength of the relationship is somehow related to the speed of the internet. That instant gratification of notification from the social platform is destroying personal lives more than one can imagine. 

I say this is the loneliest generation that mankind has ever witnessed. But there is still hope, as the hope is like a star – not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity but only to be discovered in the night of adversity.

irfan khan

Some wounds can't be healed, some voids can't be filled.

You were a gem, Sir! You will be terribly missed.

Anything I'll write here will not be enough to match your pure art and class.

Rest in peace

Father of Indian Space Program

Dr. vikram-sarabhai's 100th-birthday

My tribute to great scientist, visionary and institution builder. If it was not for him, we might not have celebrated and took pride in all the successes that ISRO have achieved till date.

After all the blood and sweat, all they earn is debt

https://youtu.be/U0IDup33qZw

Father: A silent emotion

His love was solid like rocks of a solitary mountain
Sometimes hard to feel, still very strong
At first his advice seemed like a drop in ocean
Yet every time it taught me right and wrong

He would always hide his pains, insecurities and fears
And did everything possible so that I won't have tears
His love is wordless, with a boundless scope
Even on the gloomy days, for me, he would find the hope

He helped me understand this insane complex world
Gave me the freedom to become/do what I love
He educated me to cope with the rejection
And during adversities, guided me in the right direction

Although he is no longer in this world
Still I can recall his memories from all those years ago
And I would just like to say to him that
"He did a wonderful job raising me and I love him so"

The maximum city

"A city that never sleeps still called the city of dreams." The cosmopolitan glory and the mesmerizing views of the seashore engulf the unforgiving nature of life that breaths in the narrow streets of the city. After a 2-hour flight journey, we arrived at the airport and this city was celebrating the Muharram and Ganpati Visarjan at the same time.  From what I have seen in the movies and what I have heard about the experiences of others, I had a preoccupied mindset regarding what I was about to witness. I was sure about the intoxicating weather, the maniac traffic, the kaleidoscopic skyscrapers, the Dabangg Mumbai Police, the squalid Slums, the lifeline of Bombay: Local trains, the incredible Dhobi Ghats & the six-sigma certified Dabbawalas and so much more,

View from the waiting area for the arrival of cabs/taxies

I have been to airports in other cities in India, but the difference here, I noticed was the separate floor in the adjacent building to the airport for the arrival of cabs/taxies. On the way to the hotel, the balmy evening with the fresh breeze from the sea calmed my exciting nerves. As it was time to cross one more thing from the Bucket list: to experience the vastness of sea and tranquility of beaches. Next morning we ditched the pre-planned visit to Matheran (Hill station near Mumbai) and decided that for the next 2 days we are just going to explore Mumbai. Like every city, Mumbai will also give two contrasting tastes within one city i.e. the Northside (usually the messy) & the Southside (the Classy). The Bandra-Worli Sea link bridges this divide for Mumbai. 

Day 1: We decided to explore the Northside i.e. Aksa Beach, Madh Island, Versova, Juhu Beach and finally the Bandstand. 

I have always believed that when the destination is not off-beat than choose the timings when half the city is sleeping and for the matter of fact most of the Mumbaikars are night owls. The Western Ghats which are known for its captivating sunsets, but to me, serene mornings have their own beauty. We hop on to the Auto rickshaw and to my surprise, unlike Delhite's Autos, the Autos here actually run on meter and the drivers are keen to share their knowledge about the city. Most of the places here in Mumbai are famous not necessarily because they are worth visiting but they became popular because of the Bollywood. Same goes for the Aksa Beach which became the part of must-visit beaches after the song from the movie "God Tussi Great Ho".  (Traveler’s Alert) Most of the beaches here are not clean at all due to the amount of waste dumped daily in the sea. You might experience the foul smell of rotten dead fishes and a lot of trash kissing the shoreline along the waves. And, if you visit during the festive season you might be baffled to see your God's idols lying in bits and pieces on the shore. Despite all its wrongs, Mumbai and people here are full of exuberance and nothing could stop these kids from playing & standing tall against those strong splashing waves. 

In the hustle and bustle of the life here, people look for quick-budgetary-filling food options. During those 2 days, I tried Vada Pav at many places (from the street joints to Airport lounge) and realized that it was as simple as any other street foods yet very few people have mastered the art of making it right. The quickest, pocket-friendly and on-the-go-snack that you can enjoy anytime and anywhere.

Image Source

For the morning walk, we had the whole beach to ourselves and to feel the shifting sand beneath our feet as we stood there to gaze into the boundless sea. We spent some time collecting the Seashells of different shapes, size and colour. After that, we boarded the cheap-crowded-fishy smelling ferry as it was supposed to take only 10% of travel time as opposed to the road. The next in the things to do list was the Juhu Beach and the iconic Prithvi Theatre (again recommended by the friend). The restaurant & bookstore inside this 40 years old theatre makes it the go-to place for the esoteric crowd that can read/talk/watch the cinema for hours while enjoying the reasonably priced variety of food. (Alas!! we were too early for the Shows that run normally in the evenings but the food was great)

When I saw the weather forecast in the morning it was supposed to be mild rain showers in the afternoon but the heat waves led to the change in plans. We searched for the nearest cinema hall and luckily found the seats for the recently released Horror comedy "Stree".  The eerie yet humorous plot throughout the movie and the bemusing end made sure that our afternoon was well spent. Now it was time to experience the north-south divide I talked about earlier. Even the experienced Auto rickshaw driver could not give (or might not want to give) the convincing answer regarding why the Autos are not allowed beyond the Bandra-Worli Sea link. Finally, we decided to go to the Bandstand- Mumbai's famous lover's point. The Bandstand Promenade is a kilometre long walkway that ends at the Bandra Land's End, where Bandra Fort, a Garden, the Sea and the house of Superstar Shahrukh Khan (Mannat) all meet. One of the things I noticed was that surprisingly people were standing in a queue to get onto the bus.  It was time for us to call it the day so we took the cab to the Hotel to keep this trip as offbeat only. 

Day 2: It was time to cross the bridge and explore Southside ( Haji Ali Dargah, Maratha Mandir, RBI Headquarter Building (personal choice), CST Railway Station, Gateway of India, Elephanta Caves, The Taj and the Marine Drive)

We rented the Ola cab for the day, unaware of the fact the parking charges in Mumbai (especially the Southside) will burn a hole in my pocket. We were delighted to witness the engineering marvel Bandra-Worli sea link that weighs equivalent to that of 50,000 African Elephants. Our first stop was Haji Ali Dargah, an Indo-Islamic architecture connected to the mainland through the causeway which gets submerged during the high tides. This shrine draws people from all faiths and watching the city from the shire with the waves all around is usually an experience visitors tend to remember. (If you are interested in Qawwalis than try scheduling the visit in the evening).  

Hardly any institutions have such an impressive success with the decentralized system than the Dabbawallahs of Mumbai. I got to know about them from the Ted Talk and since then I am a big fan of the accurate coding system for delivering the tiffin boxes using the same local transport. As a tribute to their service, a glittering statue stands tall at the Haji Ali chowk.

Not many food outlets were open by that time so we decided to have our breakfast at McDonald's (They had Burger with Masala Dosa patties and believe me it was delicious).  It was around 10:30, still, an hour before the show of blockbuster DDLJ would run for the umpteenth time in iconic Maratha Mandir. Therefore, we decided to take a roundabout and move to our next destination i.e. the grand CST railway station, the symbol of imperial architecture marvel included in the UNESCO World Heritage Sites. With its sheer size and the amount of detailing, it is very hard to capture its beauty in one shot (Even more beautiful with the lighting effects in the night). 

Now it was time to witness the Gateway of India (Fact: It is known as the symbol of Triumph as well as the downfall of the British). To beat the afternoon heat and crowd, taking the ferry ride to the Island was the better option.  I got a little sceptic regarding the way tickets for the ferry to Elephanta Cave were being sold by the hawkers (not through any Kiosk/ticket window). But when I enquired the policeman, he assured me you can buy the tickets from anyone, they all are authorized. It was approximately one hour ride to the Island (11 km from the mainland) and to enjoy the panoramic view from the top of the ferry one need to pay a premium charge of just Rs. 10/-. 

Far from the noisy and crowded city, this was a totally different experience. Somewhere in the middle of the limitless sea which looks calm yet, you can feel the power stored beneath the surface. For the first time, I felt the magnitude of the Mumbai Harbour and the humongous ships (that can easily accommodate the population of my village). From the jetty to the foothill, you can take the toy-train ride of 10 minutes (Rs. 10/- for to & fro journey) & save your energy to climb the 120 steps to reach the cave.

 The history of these mysterious caves is unclear but the stories about how they were discovered are interesting. While coming back, the artefacts made of precious stone/pearls lure you to buy at least one as a token of memory. 

Finally, when the day and the trip was coming close to the end it was time for the royal treat at the grand hotel The Taj Mahal. (The security checking there must have increased after the horrific incident of 26/11 Terrorist attack.)

Its beauty is as perfect from the inside as it is exquisite from the outside. I have been to other fine dining restaurants but the impeccable service here fascinated me the most. After the dinner, a long walk at the Marine Drive appreciating the sea and skyline was like a cherry on the cake.

During the night time, few places here find a new life & look more alive than ever. Be it the Marine drive that transforms into Queen's necklace, the Banda-Worli Sea link with its architectural beauty or the CST railway station as an antique gift from the history. Engrossed with all kinds of thoughts, the cab drove back to the hotel and thousands of city lights were reflecting off the window. Mumbai, the city full of stories gave us a wonderful memory to cherish throughout our lives.  

Hampi

As I walked on the land 

Containing ruins of culture and history 

The morning rays started 

Reflecting the enshrined spiritual beauty

The silent solitude of unscathed monuments 

Testament to the grandeur of glorious empires

Tracing along the whimsical Tungabhadra river

Stone chariot, dancing figures and the musical pillars

Scattered granite boulders, rocks and stones

Alive in mythological story, I never felt alone

A ride in coracle boat

Soothing and exciting at the same time

Watching the sunset over the mountain

Slowly I sublimed

Astonished by the architectural majesty 

Inspired my thoughts, as I write this poetry

Longing for love

The tiny splats of morning rain

Weaving a gauze of fine mist

Reminds me of your sweet lips

Waiting so long to be kissed

Droplets tumble down in gentled sighs

Slowly settles with its glints and glows

Reflecting the depth of your beautiful eyes

Hiding the emotions like a simple prose

Hazy memories hovering like the dark clouds

And dimly dawn still prolonging the light

So, I close my eyes again and dream

To feel you close and hold you tight

Photographs

Photographs are the return tickets
To the moments otherwise gone
To feel the warmth of your lover
While looking at them, all alone

Even the imperfect clicks
Takes you to the perfect moments
Just like the magic tricks
Forever they capture the romance

With every flick a new emotion
Tingles in the depth of our heart
For others, tiny details might not matter
But for you thoses are the most beautiful part

Just move on

All you ever see is my disdainful behavior
And now I don't know what else to say
I don't know why you can't grasp
That we no longer deal it the same way.

Every time we talked about us
We end up with more hate and swear
You don't seem to understand
The different scars, we both wear

Thousands of time I told you that you are worth more
With a hope someday you'll believe it
Be happy about the time spent together
And proud with this decision, like the way I see it

You don't have to hold on to what's long gone
Leave your past back, live your life and just move on

The monk

Distinguish looks with his entwined long braid
And sandalwood paste on the broad forehead
His eyes looks tired and sleepy
Yet his mind is calm
No desires, no affairs, no distraction
Just breathing and chanting his psalm

No bewildering thoughts about the relationships
No debt to pay and no rules to follow about how to live
The lone wanderer sailing without a direction
Can take decisions without a fear of rejection

Gave up the luxuries of life
Only a single cloth to wrap his body
Now the whole world is his home
And he has found himself in an unsung melody

City of pearls, Briyani and Nizams

After exploring almost every monument more than once (and some of them, more than, I can keep the count) for last one and half year in Delhi, a city where ancient and modern blend seamlessly together, now it’s time to move to a new city for next three months for my mandatory training of Central Secretariat service. Like always did lots of research over the internet about Hyderabad (the city of pearls and Nizams), already hooked by the legacy of magnificent palaces, mosques and tombs on the one side of the city to the other pole- Hi-Tech City“Cyberbad” with malls, multiplexes, clubs, pubs and restaurants.

Earlier in my life, I had lived in Jaipur, Kolkata and Delhi, each of them has its own pros and cons.

I love Jaipur, mostly because it's the least crowded and clean city(after Chandigarh). A city, I can relate to the perfect virgin bride that typical Indian family search for with all the good qualities.

But the Kolkata to me is more or like the one night stand always compelling to stay a little more.

And the Delhi, well it's the capital of my life, I have been to other places but every time I come here, it's like a homecoming for me. I know it's the most polluted and crowded one of all, but this city is more than just an experience. Delhi is like the affair for the lifetime.

Not much, I had heard about Hyderabad other than its famous biryanis     (I hope, the first biryani I eat there, live up to its name). So for next 3 months, I'll be strolling in the streets, parks and the monuments, where, once upon a time Qutb shah and Nizams walked and I love places with undeniably admirable beauty and bewildered iconic past.

Hyderabad now the capital of newly built state Telangana but the vehicle license plates still referred to AP(Andhra Pradesh ) so not much changed there . For me almost everything was about to change for next 3 months, the food, the weather, the culture.

But, what I am going to miss the most is talking to her while looking into her eyes and watch her smiling face and holding hands and long walks.